“May our sons in their youth
be like plants full grown,
our daughters like corner pillars
cut for the structure of a palace.”
Psalm 144:12

May my sons be healthy, mature, productive young men.
May my daughters be strong, beautiful young women, ready for honorable service.

What a contrast to our culture, which often produces immature, unprepared young men and women who are dependent consumers. I want to raise a different standard from my sons and daughters. I will do all I can to prepare them for a productive life of service.

“All humans have a Godward orientation. . . . Children are worshipers. Either they worship Jehovah or idols.”

“He is wither worshiping and serving and growing in understanding of the implications of who God is, or he is seeking to make sense of life without a relationship with God. . . . Part of the parent’s task is to shepherd him as a creature who worships, pointing him to the One who alone is worthy of his worship.”

“Since it is the Godward orientation of your child’s heart that determines his response to life, you may never conclude that his problems are simply a lack of maturity. Selfishness is not outgrown. Rebellion against authority is not outgrown. These things are not outgrown because they are not reflective of immaturity but rather of the idolatry of your child’s heart.”

- Tedd Tripp, Shepherding a Child’s Heart, 19, 21-23.

This last paragraph was especially striking to me. I so often hear the hope of parents that their self-centered children will one day “grow out of it.” A brief observations of adults would quickly dash this hope. The only real progress with adults is that they learn to put up a good front, being more shrewd and socially acceptable with their selfishness.

“The behavior a person exhibits is an expression of the overflow of the heart” (3). See Prov 4:23; Mark 7:21; Luke 6:45.

“Behavior is not the basic issue. The basic issue is always what is going on in the heart. . . . A change in behavior that does not stem from a change in heart is not commendable; it is condemnable” (4). See Matt 15.

“You must help your child ask the questions that will expose that attitude of the heart that has resulted in wrong behavior. How did his heart stray to produe this behavior? In what characteristic ways has his inability or refusal to know, trust, and obey God resulted in actions and speech that are wrong. . . . Help them see the ways that they are trying to slake their souls’ thirst with that which cannot satisfy” (5-6).

- Tedd Tripp, Shepherding a Child’s Heart

Tedd Tripp, Shepherding a Child’s Heart, xix.

One problem is my agenda. When I have an agenda and people get in the way of it, I am frustrated. When I have an agenda, I simply do not see or have the energy to love people. And I am talking about a task oriented agenda. If my agenda were loving people, that would be produce a difference result altogether. For example, when the children do not do a job correctly, my agenda determines my response. If my agenda is the task itself, then I am frustrated and ungentle. But if my agenda is to relate to, love, build up, and train my children, then I will gently instruct and encourage them.

It seems that I am a fundamentally task oriented person. The physical and practical task, whatever it may be at the moment, must be secondary. People are always first. Love is always first. “Whatever you do, let it be done in love” (1 Cor 16:14).

“So how do we know when to pursue someone for marriage?  When we do not need marriage. When we are full and growing in our relationship with Christ, then and only then, are we really ready for marriage. Adam did not tell God he was lonely. In Gen 2:18 God said, ‘It is not good for man to be alone, I will make him a suitable helper.’ Elizabeth Elliott was asked how she found three husbands. Her response was ‘I did not find any husband because I was not looking for a husband.’ God will determine our need and readiness and will lead us to marriage when the time is right.”

- R.D. Hodges, The Greatest Adventure I Never Dreamed Of (forthcoming)

I wrote the following article for the Greenhouse Report, the newsletter for the North Carolinians for Home Education.

Six years ago, my wife Dana and I wandered around the Convention Center in wide-eyed amazement. It was our first NCHE Conference ever and we had never seen so many homeschooling people, philosophies, books, and curriculum. That first year was life changing for us and helped us set the course for our home education journey. Since then, we have made the annual conference a priority and we are encouraged and challenged every year. This year was no exception. So I would like to share the top ten highlights of the 2010 NCHE for Dana and me.

10. Our hotel room card opened the door and there was no one staying in our hotel room. Two years ago we tried to save money and stayed in a crummy hotel. After returning to the front desk for the third time, the room card finally opened the door . . . but there were people in there! Recommendation #1: Don’t come for just the book fair or one day of sessions. Make it a priority, take off work, and come for the whole conference as a couple. Recommendation #2: Save up some money and stay in a nice hotel.

9. Buying our curriculum. Every year, the first thing we do is head to the My Father’s World booth and buy all our curriculum for next year. We love this curriculum, love saving money on shipping, and are glad to get the main, big purchase out of the way.

8. BrewNerds Coffee. Its hard to justify spending so much time in the insanely long line at Starbucks, but I usually do. Not this year. Instead, I found Brewnerds Coffee one block away on Fourth Street. It is easily as good (probably better) than Starbucks and the line was short. I also learned it owned from strong believers.

7. Meeting old friends. There are some people I don’t ever see except at the conference. What a blessing to give hugs and talk face to face instead of over e-mail!

6. Meeting new friends. This is difficult not to do. It is very encouraging to meet and be sharpened by so many other like-minded people.

5. Finding new books. The two book purchases I am especially happy with: What a Daughter Needs from Her Dad: How a Man Prepares His Daughter for Life by Michael Farris, and the first two books of The Peleg Chronicles by Matthew Christian Harding, Foundlings and Paladins (this series is supposed to be for the kids, but I sure am enjoying them!).

4. Helping wide-eyed first timers. We met a couple that was there for the first time. It was easy to remember what that was like and so we felt a little sorry for them! It was a joy to help them sort through the overwhelming mass of information and select a curriculum.

3. Being reminded of how important it is to spend quantity and quality time with my kids. Even though our family spends most our time together, there are two traps we must watch out for: 1) Spending a lot of busy time with your family without realizing they need also need more focused relationship time, and 2) Not taking the time to spend one on one time with your kids.

2. Renewing a godly generational vision. I especially enjoyed hearing Kevin Swanson speak on the importance of such a generational vision. The heart of home education is that parents are taking responsibility for diligently teaching their children to love God so that they can teach their own children. “That you may fear the Lord your God, you and your son and your son’s son” (Deut 6:2)

1. Spending time with my wife. We take all the kids (except the youngest) to Grandma’s house and drop them off. The time that Dana and I have together at the conference is always rich. We spend a lot of time talking, especially on our regular Friday night date to Macaroni Grill. We are inspired by what we hear and share what God is doing in our hearts. We talk about our family and discuss ways to grow and improve.

All in all, we are grateful to be a part of NCHE and the opportunity to participate in a conference like this. See ya’ll next year!

• The vision is for God’s people to live in loving, faithful obedience to him (vv. 4-5).
• Parents are responsible for teaching their children to live in loving, faithful obedience to God (vv. 7-9, 20-25).

As usual, you can listen to this message in the Teaching Audio player in the right sidebar. From the Player you can also download it or subscribe to messages from Highland Christian Fellowship as a podcast.

“That you may fear the Lord our God, you and our son and our son’s son” (v. 2).

Educating our children at home certainly has academic benefits. But the driving force of educating our kids at home is the vision given in this passage: generational faithfulness.

We are looking forward to an encouraging day at the NCHE Conference. I hope to be able to post some highlights.